en lontananza

curso de poesía a distancia, de utopía,
de invitarme a pasear y quedarme sentado,
ni fu ni fa,
de no estar a años luz de la oscuridad,
de la verdad, la maldad

curso a distancia por la cercanía, la radiografía,
por el pronóstico o la óptica de la rabia,
de la cuántica o la palabra,
la saliva que tragamos o escupimos

curso por correspondencia de oniromancia,
de cafedomancia pagado a corto plazo,
a plazo fijo,
con promesas mas sin garantías,
sin devoluciones

curso de riesgo, de ser necio a distancia,
de intervención médica o tardía,
sobre la flema y la bilis negra,
sobre las cuatro sustancias básicas
o los cuatro humores

curso, taller patético, poético del espejo,
de la sobredosis
patrocinado por nuestro entorno,
por la estupidez o escasez de asombro,
por el déficit,
la alarma interior o falta de calma

taller a vista de pájaro,
de quiromancia, trabalenguas a distancia

c. a. campos, 2012

scat singing

with you in front of the mirror,
you pointing the finger at your washed, perfumed reflection,
with you catching yourself half-jokingly humming
at least i’m still fuckable, lovable material,
this is how an out of the norm day makes its appearance,
how a good day usually begins,
with a tiny but timely omission (almost wrote remission)
& not with an admission of guilt,
not with a discovery or some sort of age-old revelation,
after you’ve shaved, brushed teeth, washed away your dreams
& god only knows what other bodily secretions,
this is how fog flourishes in the mirror,
in the morning,
how the agreeable generally sneaks up on you

c. a. campos, 2012

happy notes

feeling well means feeling less jaded, less disappointed,
less mindful of what others have done,
of what you have undone,
less mindful of the brain’s poor reward system

means feeling less unapproachable,
less disgusting, less disgusted,
less likely not to catch yourself saying
at least is not snowing when it’s pouring
& your umbrella goes flying as if it were a kite,
as if it were a plastic bag meant to be recycled

it means not minding life on layaway, on an installment plan,
or feeling less likely to have yourself committed,
less likely to commit a crime or commit the unthinkable,
the unfathomable,
or feeling less prone not to commit to someone,
not to commit to a lost cause or some jekyll & hyde,
dream/nightmare combination

it means (well, you get the pic)

c. a. campos, 2012

ennui

the answers to the survey ran from drug overdose to drowning,
from the classical hanging yourself
to the postmodern, postmortem
manner of going on a killing spree & ending up on death row,
from the romantic idea of slowly freezing your behind in alaska
while reading to build a fire
to the slashing of your wrists in the tub

from freaking out at the question, at the suggestion,
to cursing me out for taking him or her there, in the first place

from the expected outcomes in a controlled environment
to the more interesting
“life’s so insignificant that killing yourself isn’t worth the effort,”
“the earth’s refurbished material & life’s a colossal failure,”
to the as well meaningful, mindful
“what was wrong with me?
why was i running from cubicle to cubicle
& bothering people about dying, about unplugging themselves?,
why wasn’t i inquiring instead about their plans for the future,
about the three-day weekend coming up ahead?”

the gamut ran from the grotesque to the absurd, to the autistic,
as i kept on asking, tallying, & handpicking from the responses,
as i kept on editing, mortifying, or modifying the ones
that made the final cut,
that were included in the suicide for dummies instruction manual

the results of the out of the blue initiative, queer experimentation,
not disappointing me in the least (a tall order)

c. a. campos, 2012

hálito

ese, o, ele, o:
me deletreo para matar el tiempo,
para no ponerme a dormir

mientras lluvia con viento, allá fuera,
y paraguas,
palabras sin destinatario,
sin oralidad

me deletreo
sin el acento ortográfico,
con el eco o el hueco prosódico
y el nudo en la garganta

e invierno o enero, allá fuera,
el solo o el vuelo de los cuervos,
de los silenciadores y las chimeneas

lo de menos si lo hago en cursiva
o en letra de molde:
ese, o, ele, o

c. a. campos, 2012