Friday, December 30, 2011

prosigue con cuidado


lo que me detiene es la prisa de la luz, 
de la tecnología,
la maratón rumbo al cementerio de los viejos,
rumbo al trabajo de los peatones que arrempujan,
que no saludan, que ni se disculpan

es la semivida de por sí,
la ocupación, preocupación de que el show concluya
para que así podamos experimentar cuanto antes  
lo siguiente,
el próximo estreno o la próxima entrada del menú

es la carrera, el polvo de la carretera,
la silueta femenina o la sombra en lontananza
del árbol que nos invita a comparecer, a reconocer,
a identificarnos con su espantapájaros  

lo que me detiene es el MACH 1 
o la lentitud de las ondas sonoras,
de la solicitud, las explicaciones,
de los efectos o los defectos de la dopamina,
de nuestro mecanismo de defensa 

es la promesa o maraña, emboscada del mañana,
la táctica, ofensiva del mundo de los sueños,
de los nictálopes
o de nuestros receptores opioides

es el anzuelo de la esperanza 
cual se viste de consuelo, año nuevo,
de sustancia taumatúrgica o placebo,
cual se enmascara de autoridad, de credibilidad

lo que me detiene es la espontaneidad de la caída,
de la demora,
de la tristeza, la hemorragia  


c. a. campos, 2011

Friday, December 9, 2011

please let me know


among other things, i can teach you how to be miserable,
how to increase, on short notice,
your alcohol intake or your credit card debt

how to dissect or break down expectation into syllables
& incorporate the world
the word hate into your vocabulary

i can teach you how to neutralize vandalize love:
its privileged private property with your mutt,
with graffiti or some sort of spray can

making an example of it without needing to go to therapy,
without getting in trouble with the law,
with your family

i can teach you how to do things out of spite, out of boredom,
how to be out of compliance,
elevating it to a science, an art form

i can teach you how to get your master’s in less than two years
if you’re eager to continue on,
if you’re eager to substantiate your futility


c. a. campos, 2011

Saturday, December 3, 2011

speech therapy



SORRY     sorry     so sorry
it's my fault     blame me
should have thought of you
before doing it     before saying it
i messed up     i, i apologize
won't happen again: promise
(in front of the mirror, i'm practicing my lines,
practicing how to say i'm sorry;
for i've already worked on my abs,
on my drinking [wishing] problem)
SORRY     sorry     so sorry
darn it: it has to be believable;
must be uttered with more trepidation,
with less affirmation
you don't deserve this     don't deserve me
you can do better than yours truly
SORRY     sorry     so sorry
(next, as i shave, save face,
how to say i love you,
how to say i care)


c. a. campos, 2011

Thursday, December 1, 2011

reclamation project


endorphins are supposed to improve your mood,
are supposed to make you feel good about your chances
despite the data,
despite the history of your family
or the history of the team that you root for

but mine’s are M-I-A, have gone AWOL

i exercise diligently every other night
(muscle failure is supposed to induce, introduce them)
& my feel-good endorphins are nowhere to be seen:
no sign of the occasional cheap high that i was
or have been secretly concocting  

for whatever the reason,
my body, now fitter or healthier than before,
has willy-nilly closed up shop & stopped its production:
deciding on its own
that i’m no longer in need of a mood stabilizer

i don’t have a picture to show for  (not that endorphins
are photogenic by any stretch of the imagination)
but have no fear:
they arent in danger &, what’s more important,
aren’t a danger to you or society

if there’s anyone at risk, it’s me

for those in need or with nothing better to do,
i offer a small reward
(another grey goose or another consolation prize
in the eyes of the heart, of the 99%)
for information leading to their arrest
  

c. a. campos, 2011