como regalo de cumple

hoy me sentencié a diez años más de vida

presbicia

abrir el paréntesis como el que abre una ventana,

para ventilar la casa, el idioma,

para ver si con el cambio de temperatura,

de signo ortográfico

uno empieza a menguar los efectos adversos

del autodidacta, de la autoinducción,

los efectos nocivos de lo que nos expone,

lo que se descubre

abrirlo como el que no está a gusto

con lo que se hace, con lo que él ha hecho,

lo que se valora,

con lo que él, a puerta cerrada, ha desaprovechado

por falta de algo mejor que hacer, que deshacer,

para embullar, embullarse

y tiempo ganar,  

dejar de hablar mal de la gente, de las autoridades

como el que abre el grifo del lavabo

para lavarse la cara

y la sal neutralizar de la frente, de los ojos,

de lo que no se esperaba, no se sospechaba

el menospreciado paréntesis para ver lo que cabe en él,

ver si hay lugar,

si hay cupo también para juan y sus menesteres

abrirlo como el que abre una botella para contentarse,

luego la siguiente 

porque no lo ha conseguido

c. a. campos, 2010   

the river of forgetfulness

the delete button allows you to take back

what you have said,

erase what you have written,

what has gone wrong or gotten sentimental

it gives you countless times to start over,

to keep quiet, this time or the next,

if you still don’t have anything better to say,

if you still haven’t come up with a good excuse

to interrupt & add your two cents

it gives you, a repeat offender, the opportunity

to correct on the fly your misspellings & discrepancies,

your occasional blunders before others

get a chance to hear you, to read between the lines

it allows you to undo

what no one else knows that took place,

to ignore muscle memory & agree, for a change,

with conventional wisdom

& act as if it didn’t happen, as if it didn’t hurt

& it takes you back to primary school

& your c-minus c-plus high school education,

to memories of your number 2 pencil eraser

& paper mate all-purpose liquid paper

nonchalantly inviting or enticing you

to hack into your own personal computer,

to locate & isolate not your soul or mind

but your own keyboard

& coping mechanism

the one you aren’t certain, if given the choice,

that you would consider,

that you would run to press & hold

to see what you could forget, what you could forgive

it allows you, if you’re into that sort of thing,

to update upgrade a myth

on your own terms, on a small scale,

to experience the health benefits

of the overly protected waters of the lethe

without you first getting a concussion

or needing x number of blows to your head,

without you having to die on you yourself

or on someone less fortunate

it gives you the opportunity   

to send to the showers a learned behavior,

to point the finger at the keyboard,

at an object & not a foreign or domestic subject,

not at someone else

it takes you back to the burning of books,

to the shredding of evidence,

&, how apropos, to the flushing of the toilet,

the blowing of your nose

c. a. campos, 2010

somewhere

we have to believe

that there are happy people

out there.

happy with their phone service,

their weight & their wardrobe.

with where they’ve been,

where they’re going.

at peace with their skill set

& their loved ones,

their 9 to 5 gigs

& not at odds with the law,

with their age

or their bottom line.

it behooves our morale

to believe that they’re out there,

not light or dark years away,

munching & speaking

in a language similar to ours,

a café.

we have to trust

that they still have availability:

a room or two, an empty shack.

& that they wouldn’t mind,

we wouldn’t not bother.

we have to bet

on our farfetchedness,

their likelihood. 

c. a. campos, 2010

first aid kit

pardon me, but duking it out with failure,

after-hours & on weekends,

is also part of my job description

it’s not just another hobby of mine,

another extracurricular activity

that can be cut back on

because of politics, budgetary reasons

we’re talking about a person here

& not just the return on an inside tip,

a trojan horse

a good chunk of what i must also do

entails putting a positive spin

on the gloves & the punching bag,

on what i do to myself

entails covering up scrapes & bruises,

& overlooking my approval rating,

my success rate

c. a. campos, 2010